Locker 41
Todays Feature
Big Bee, Eden Project, Cornwall
News
The dreaded 'D' word.
23rd Jun 10:55 am
It's a word that scares me. it's a word word that has been sitting on the tip of my tongue for many years, wanting to escape from my mind, which created it, nurtured it for many years.
I have these phases where it just swamps my mind with possibilities and that is the whole point of it, the world I made, the existance I wanted it to have - Dreamscape - what would be my masterwork had I the talent and skill to make it happen.
Many years ago, I thought of this neat idea. As a student and dork, I enjoyed forum roleplaying, storytelling over the internet with good friends. Not happy with the cliched settings and psuedo fantasy plots of other such forums, I made my own site on (the now imploded) Avidgamers.com. It was called 'Project Next,' a challenging look at future earth as I imagined. It was a success, and I met some great writers and players who helped me develop this idea; together, with no more than ten of us, we changed all expectations on a community system with thousands of members and hundreds of roleplaying communities, we set the mark.
The biggest challenge for everyone of course is exceeding expectation. I always imagined something greater, but others were happy to stick with what they knew - it just wasn't good enough for me, setting a standard is one thing, moving it forward is what I wanted to do.
So, not more than a year after Next, I embarked on a new project simply called 'Dreamscape.'
I wanted to create a world that didn't specifically target normal genres, but emcompassed elements of many. I wanted a style where any kind of writer could play, regardless of ability. I failed over an over again - people could see the genious of the world, but couldn't submit to it, it was too grand, too... big.
I never forgot it.
Now, it creeps into my mind again, mainly because of meeting another author, and the excitemtnt of a creative writing course, but also because the scope is so grand that even more new ideas have flooded in.
The 'D' word. Gah. W00t.
So...
5th Jun 6:40 pm
Still no Internet at home. And it's great. These very gentle sessions at work are enough to quench what was becoming an addiction, but I'm certainly better off without it. I go out, spend time with Chloe (<3) and enjoy the finer things - good music, good company, good food and a bit of fighting here and there too!
Saying that, I have found that despite my miserable time at Uni last year and all the bollocks that is Computing, I still enjoy the odd foray into web design and development. It is far more fun practicing as a hobby instead as a career choice and playing with the vikings site has been more fun than I'd imagined.
Odd how these things come around. Once upon a time I was feverently against blogging and online journals, but as I go towards my 23rd birthday (still regressed to 18, so dont worry), I find it relaxing on occasion. I hope it'll help with my degree come september, a bit of writing experience, something personal - something that has been lacking from all my writing during four years of computing: reports aren't personal.
Creative Writing and Film Studies coming up, can't wait. I'm truely excited to go back and be a student. Properly this time, I have decided. I Will actually do the whole freshers thing, do the student life away from parents, and enjoy the damn thing - work hard - but enjoy it.
Oh well, that's the sound of work colleagues complaining about serving customers.
Ta Ta
On regression...
12th May 1:34 pm
Oh what a couple of months can do to a person.
Four years of being mediocre has made me stop and look back to what could of been - not in some retrospective where one wishes he'd done something different as he wastes his life in a dead-end job, but looking forward to changing his station in life.
Though I doubt she'd ever read this (I doubt many people read this at all), I need to give thanks.
In the last two months, I have changed. Instead of taking my 'get-by' attitude to new levels of absurdity, I have made the right decisions, gotten a vision in my head of where I want to be in five years time and until the very end, and it's because of one very special person.
She doesn't know this, maybe she just thinks that's my personality, how I get on with life if i put my mind to it, but actually, it's all her 'fault.'
I'm 23 in two months time, five whole years separate us, but I think I have found a kindred spirit that has pushed me in the right direction, just by being. For years, teachers, work colleagues, family and friends have tried, nagging and persuading and I have done nothing. Now, I’m set, a clear path before me and all she has done is get on with her own life, and let me follow in happiness close to euphoria. It has made me look inward, become a man, become myself. In two months I have done more for my life than the four years previous.
Chloe: Thank you!
Patience, humility, attitude, humour, smiles, laughs, grins and nods. Stupidity, shenanigans, silliness, strops, flops, yawns and moans. And so much more, where words fail me (and make me more emo by the second). Thank you.
You make me happy.
=)
Regression
15th Mar 8:03 pm
The past four years have been... odd.
University wasn't really for me, but I stuck it out, wasting years of my life being very unlike a student.
I have regressed, my life is back and I have picked up where I left off at 18. And it's awesome!
The Wisdom Of Crowds
10th Jan 5:50 pm
Dreams can come true, especially with xkcd.
:-)
© 2006 Alan James Ball
